Weight stigma

Fat. 

Cellulite. 

Stretch marks. 

Does that make you feel uncomfortable? 

Since I was around 14, weight has been a problem for me. I’m naturally built with a big bum and thick thighs (something that is oh so suddenly in fashion) and it’s not been an easy ride. I honestly can’t remember the last day that I went without thinking to myself “Christ I am so fat. My cellulite is horrendous!” It’s tiring. Wherever I go, whatever I’m doing, I’m constantly looking at the legs of women around me and comparing them to my own. “I wish my legs were that toned. She has no cellulite but her legs are the same size as mine?! What is wrong with me?!” The truth is, there is nothing wrong with me. The problem is this horrific stigma around weight. Now I’m not saying that being overweight is healthy by any means, and I definitely do need to take better care of myself but what is this pressure to look SO “good”? Do you really have to have a toned stomach, silky smooth legs and a perfectly peachy bum to be accepted? Because if that’s the case then I will never be accepted in society. Here I am, sprawled out on my bed, in my little pyjama shorts, with my fan cooling down my cellulite lumpy-bumpy thighs/bum and my wobbly tummy. My room is the only place that knows the real me. The only place I can roam around naked and enjoy it (not that I dream of roaming around naked many other places..). It’s taken me a long time to be able to look at myself in the mirror and think actually, I’m not that bad. I know, get the violins out, but isn’t that sad? Sad that society makes so many of us feel negative about our own bodies. Our bodies are amazing. They house everything we need in order to live and they are so taken for granted. 

We are constantly smothered by adverts for different diets or pop ups online “HOW TO SHED 2 STONE IN 6 WEEKS READY FOR SUMMER!” If there was a healthy way of doing that, we’d all be doing it. There’s always someone questioning or judging what you’re eating, someone looking down on you for having a donut at 9am. Maybe we were only taught about the ‘food balance wheel’ at school rather than the health risks of a poor diet. Or maybe we are fully aware of the health risks and quite frankly just want a donut for breakfast every now and then! What should it matter to anyone else? Why should it offend them?

Cellulite and stretch marks are perfectly normal and natural things that can occur on anyone of any size/shape. So why aren’t they normalised by fashion magazines and clothing companies? I have a grab-able tummy, thighs that slap together, cellulite and stretch marks. The whole chubby package. If only it felt natural in society to show that off with confidence rather than hiding behind long length clothes and suck ins. We are all entitled to wear those shorts or that little summery dress (with the shorts underneath to stop the chafing of course) without being disregarded as fat/disgusting and I totally envy those girls who have the confidence to do so. 

The thought of ever bringing a child into this judgemental world is terrifying. I’ve learnt to love my body, and slowly but surely I will build the confidence to wear what I want and not care about others opinions but until then, I would love nothing more than to open peoples eyes to the reality of appearances. 

Anyone who may read this, you’re beautiful. (Especially you Lissa, thank you for always making me feel appreciated and loved. Without you, Sarah and Dray I’d still be a mess of paranoia and anxiety) ♥️